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Summary: Another part of my "Alternate-Generations-Universe".
Note: Part of the Ensign-Fuh-Q-Fest
Time: After "To Ease the Pain" (SFF) and "A New Beginning" (KFF), before "Triple with Tribble" and "At Home" (both KFF).
Disclaimer: Paraborg/Viacom owns the whole Star Trek universe. I only borrowed a little part of it for some fun. No moneymaking, no offence of copyrights are intended. The story is mine and it is just fanfiction.
If you are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with explicit m/m-sex, then look elsewhere for your entertainment. English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes. Many thanks to Isla and T'Boy for support, suggestions and beta. For all remaining errors blame me.
For my other stories and stories by Lady Charena see: http://tostwins.slashcity.net
Personal Log Ensign Harry Kim
So we are now stuck in the Delta-Quadrant, over 70,000 light years away from home and, to make things even worse, we're stuck with a bunch of Marquis on board. Obviously, the morale of the crew isn't the best right now.
People mourn the loss of their family and friends. Sam Wildman, for example, just got married before our mission started. She told me that she and her husband had planned to start a family when she returned. The captain, even if she would never show it openly, is surely missing her husband and her dog. And I'll bet even Tuvok is missing his wife and his kids, in spite of his Vulcan mask.
I think there are only two people on board the Voyager, who don't feel very sorry for being out of contact with home right now. One is Tom Paris for very obvious reasons. He surely has no interest to go to prison again. The other is ... I.
I know I should mourn, too, for my fiancée, Libby, and for my parents. Oh, I miss my family, but I'm not sure if I still can miss Libby. Not since I met HIM.
It all began a few weeks ago on a day I consider the happiest in my life. I was in Starfleet headquarters and had just received my first assignment. My most daring dreams had come true. I was assigned to the newest research-ship in the fleet instead of to an old freighter. What more could I hope for?
I figuratively was walking on cloud nine as I rounded a corner and bumped into another man. I was just about to back away and starting to apologize when I suddenly recognized who I had nearly knocked over. It was HIM, James T. Kirk, the most famous captain the fleet ever had.
It's surely understandable that I was stunned. There he was: the hero of my youth, the man I considered more than anybody else my pattern, the living legend I had heard uncountable stories about during my time at school and the academy.
Of course, I had heard of his newest miracle. He had beaten death once more. The news had been full of information about his return from the Nexus on Veridian III. And now this legend was standing right before me in a corridor of Starfleet HQ.
He appraised me carefully. Obviously, he liked what he saw, than he started to smile at me. "Ensign, in my time, we apologized when we knocked people over." he said and - to my relief - he didn't sound very angry.
I blushed furiously and stammered: "Yes, sir ... I mean .. We apologize, too. Err ... I apologize for bumping into you. I wasn't careful. I was with my thoughts ..."
He interrupted me: "It's okay, Ensign. I wasn't harmed. So take it easy. If you would be so kind to show me the cafeteria, then we'll be even. I suppose it's no longer where it used to be in my time."
"It would be my pleasure, sir," I answered immediately.
After I had guided him to the HQ-cafeteria, he invited me to a cup of coffee. Of course, I accepted. Nothing in the whole universe could make me miss this opportunity to spend some time with the hero of my dreams.
The room wasn't very crowded, but the few people who were there recognized my companion immediately. I earned some very envious glances. I bet they were wondering why such a green ensign like me was worthy of James Kirk's company.
I, too, was wondering why he was so kind to me. He asked me what I had dreamed about when I bumped into him, and I told him about my assignment. My enthusiasm must have been very obvious. With a smile, he told me he could remember another young ensign who was once as enthusiastic as I was now. He said that if I could retain my passion, I would make a good captain.
He surely referred to himself when he spoke of the young enthusiastic ensign. His records as the youngest captain and admiral in the fleet are still unbroken today. A lot of people tried to break them but nobody succeeded.
We talked about this and that. He asked me about my family and about my home country. It seemed that he was very much enjoying my company. I still didn't know what made him spend his time with an inexperienced ensign. Probably he just needed some company. Most likely, he didn't know many people after being "dead" for 80 years.
I was surprised when he told me that he had just resigned from Starfleet. "I can't captain a ship any longer." he told me. "Too much has changed during the time I was gone. And I'm not going to be a fool for the press, open museums and all that shit. So I kicked some asses and told them, either they have to pay me for the last 80 years during which I was theoretically still a Starfleet officer or they had to give me free passage on their ships until I can meet with Spock."
As he spoke the name of his former first officer, his eyes had a faraway look, which made me believe that some of the rumors regarding their private relationship must be true.
I wished then I had the gift to stop time. I wished our time together would never end. There were so many things I wanted to ask. With all the stories about him one never knew where reality ended and where legend began. But I just didn't dare ask.
We had finished our coffee much too quickly. I was desperately thinking of a way to make him stay awhile longer when he suddenly and, surprisingly, invited me home.
Of course, I accepted immediately. How could I not? His home was a very nice apartment with a great view of the Golden Gate Bridge.
He offered me a drink, joking that I was hopefully old enough for alcohol. He was very kind and charming, even more now than earlier in the cafeteria. Probably it was this or the alcohol or both that loosened my tongue. I don't know why, but I started to ask some of the questions I had in my mind.
He was very kind and answered them all as long as they were not still classified. His voice became softer as he started to speak about his old friends and there was again this faraway look in his eyes. I listened fascinated and appraised him more carefully than I had dared at HQ.
He was still the very handsome and attractive man I had seen on hundreds of old pictures and holovids. I don't know why I suddenly registered this, but it was nevertheless true. I started to admire his beautiful hazel eyes, and I caught myself wishing that these sensual lips might kiss me. I wondered if his hands were strong and sensitive at the same time.
As I began to imagine what these hands could do to me, I felt my penis stir. I've never been with a man before, but I sometimes dreamed of it in secret. My family is very conservative; we just don't speak aloud about a same-sex relationship. But I was always curious about gay-sex. I had gay friends at the academy, and I thought sometimes it wasn't only curiosity which made me think about sex with a man. But I never found the courage to try it out.
And now, there I was daydreaming about the famous James T. Kirk like a teenager. I blushed furiously as I realized I had missed a question he had addressed to me. This was so embarrassing. Now he would think I wasn't interested in his stories or in him. And to make things even worse, my cock had grown bigger and there was an obvious bulge in my pants. If I had to stand up then to leave, he would see it, and I would most likely fall down and die of embarrassment right there.
He examined me with interest, then stood up and walked behind me. One of his hands rested on my left shoulder, and the other played with my hair. I held my breath as he bent down and whispered in my ear "I've always loved black-haired men." His hand traveled from my shoulder down to my groin and gently squeezed my erection. "I know what you want, what you have just dreamed." He said now. "I've thought the same. Come on let's go to the bedroom."
I didn't resist as he took my hand and pulled me to my feet. I didn't wish to resist him, to be honest.
I can't remember how we made it to the bedroom or how he undressed himself and then me. All I remember is that we lay naked on a large and comfortable bed and that he caressed every inch of my body. He kissed, licked and sucked and stroked up and down, up and down, again and again.
I felt as if I had died and was now in heaven. He was incredibly tender, and he aroused me beyond anything I would have thought possible. I realized that the rumors about his skills as a lover had been true.
As he took my cock completely in his mouth and started to suck it in earnest, I thought I would pass out. It nearly was too much friction. I must have cried my lungs out from sheer ecstasy. And I just couldn't believe that this all was reality, that I was lying in bed with James Kirk and that this famous man was giving me that much pleasure. I wished I could reciprocate and give him pleasure, too, but I was still so surprised from our situation, I just didn't know what to do.
He let me slip out his mouth and backed away. As he fumbled in the bedside drawer I thought I knew what would soon happen. I was about to get fucked by T. Kirk and I was very eager to experience this.
As he put the tube in my hand, I thought he wanted me to prepare him and so I reached for his large, hard cock. But he pushed my hand aside. "Not me. You," he said.
I was stunned. He couldn't be serious about this. "I can't ... I've never ..." I stammered with sheer disbelief that he had asked me to fuck him. I thought for a brief moment that this must be a dream, surely I would wake up soon.
But his smile was real as he said: "For everything there is a first time." And then he confessed. "I need it, Harry. It's a long time since I had a cock up my ass. I just need it. Please, fuck me."
And so I did. I don't remember every detail, but I remember that it was incredible. He told me to coat my fingers and put them into him. As I did, he seemed to enjoy it very much.
But soon it obviously wasn't enough for him and he demanded more. "Put your cock in me. Now." He moaned and spread his legs invitingly wider apart.
I knelt between them, shaking with fear to hurt him and sure I wouldn't be able to fuck him. "Don't worry. I'm used to this," he said to allay my fears. He reached out to guide my organ to where he wanted it to be.
Finally, my cock was positioned at his entrance and I pushed slowly into his anus. He drove his legs around my waist and urged me further in. "Go on," he urged and I obeyed instinctively until I was fully sheated.
His pleasure was clear on his handsome face. And I felt sheer pleasure, too. I still can't describe it. It was just heavenly. I could hardly believe that my cock was in another man's ass and that this ass belonged to James Kirk was even more unbelievable.
"Move." He groaned. "Please thrust." I did and lost myself in the sensations my whole body was experiencing as I withdrew my cock and shoved it in, again and again.
He cried out as I hit his prostate. That was what he wanted, needed. "Harder. Faster. Fuck me." He squeezed his legs around me, trying to push me deeper inside with this maneuver. And so I fucked James Kirk as hard and fast as I could.
Again, I wished time would stop, but all too soon I knew I would not be able
to last any longer. "I'm coming." I cried out as I felt my climax approach.
"Yes Harry. Give me all that you have," he replied as I rammed for one final thrust deep into him and then filled him with my seed.
He, too, came then whispering a name I couldn't understand. Than we both collapsed completely exhausted.
Later, after we had both recovered, I thought he would now take me, too, but he didn't. He said that I should save it for a man I really would love. That he would not take me virginity from me. That he wasn't the right person for this act.
And I knew that I wasn't the man he really had desired during our fucking, and I never could be. I had a fairly good guess who this might be, and I hoped that they would find each other.
Our parting was warm and kind. He wished me luck and thanked me for my company. I couldn't say it then, but he had opened my eyes. Now I know what I really wanted and needed in my life.
I still like Libby. She's a nice girl. But I never really desired her. We got engaged because my parents wished it. They said it would be better to do this before I left Earth. Most likely, they hoped a relationship with Libby would make me stay. They were never happy with my chosen career in Starfleet. They always hoped I would prefer my musical career instead. But the call of the stars was always stronger for me.
I was always the good son who did what his parents wanted him to do. The only time I rebelled was when I went to the academy. Now I must and will rebel again against the life they had wanted for me.
As I said before, my family is very conservative. They will be shocked when they learn that their little boy has decided to be only with men. Yes, its true, I'm gay. Deep inside I always knew it but it needed James Kirk to make me admit it to myself. And I will admit it to others, too, if it is necessary. I will not feign what I am any longer.
And I'm determined to some day find the person which whom I can experience true love and passionate desire. The chances for this might be minimized by our current situation, but nevertheless I should go out and try to make some friends at least.
Probably I should start with Tom Paris. I'll bet we have more in common then one may think at first sight. Besides I also find that he is a handsome man.