Series: ST TOS
Pairing: Kirk, McCoy
Summary: Jim has a problem
Disclaimer: The characters in this story donít belong to me. I only borrowed them for some fun. No moneymaking, no violation of copyrights are intended. The story is mine and it is just fanfiction. If you are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with this topic, then look elsewhere for your entertainment. English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes. Thanks to Lady Charena for the beta. For all remaining errors, blame me.
Oh, this was marvellous! With a pleasant groan Len lowered himself into his favorite armchair. Finally he had a peaceful afternoon for himself. Scotty was on the moon to a two-day engineers-convention. And the children rehearsed in the school for the Christmas-tale. And he hadnít to work this afternoon.
He actually had wanted to do a bit house-cleaning, now when no one else was at home, but he just hadnít the slightest desire to do it right now. Tomorrow is another day, he decided. He brewed himself a nice cup of coffee (real one not this concoction from the replicator), took a good, old-fashioned book and made himself comfortable.
But he just had sat down and opened the book as the com-device chimed. "This canít be true,Ē Leonard growled and asked himself why this damn things ever buzzed at the wrong moment - as if the person on the other end could see that one just had sit down.
He was very tempted to simply ignore the call. He or she could call again later or leave a message but then his conscience won. He eased himself grumbling out the armchair.
It was only an audio-signal, Len noticed quickly. "Please, Bones, can you come over. Itís really urgent," Jim Kirkís voice sounding somehow harassed from the loudspeakers, after Leonard had pushed the acceptance-button. Len sighed. Somehow it didn't surprise him, that Jim was the one disturbing him. Who else could have such a bad timing?
"What is so important?" he asked without any effort to banish the annoyance from his voice. Jim should notice that he was disturbing him. But like ever such nuances just bounced off his friend completely.
"Just come quickly," Jim called and cancelled their connection.
Angry with his friend Leonard walked to the next-door. "This is the last time that I immediately come when he calls," he swore to himself - for the approximately hundred or thousand time in their long-time acquaintance.
The front door was open and Len simply entered the house. "Iím here," he heard Jim's voice from the living room. He walked in - and stopped dead in his track. The furniture was moved aside and stacked about each other, on the carpet he saw a big, wet spot, fragments of glass lay under the table and on the sofa sitting a Jim Kirk with lowered trousers and the vacuum cleaner in his hands.
Leonard looked once, blinked and then looked for a second time. He really couldn't see what he was seeing. Whether I have gone crazy or he, Leonard thought - and then decided that it had definitely to be Jim who had freaked out completely now.
The tube of the vacuum cleaner was put on Jimís manhood.
"How the hell did you do this?Ē Len asked as he finally found his voice back. "Canít you even stand the few hours Spock is at work without sex?Ē
Jim sounded a bit outraged as he answered: "Itís not what you think, Bones. Be ashamed! Iím completely innocent. I have made the Christmas-cleaning. Gina always has so little time. First the water-bucket felt down.Ē He indicated at the wet spot on the carpet. ďAs I wanted to lift the carpet for drying I have pushed the cookie bowl from the table and all the crumbs had slipped into my trousers. This tickled so terribly. For quicker cleaning I wanted to absorb them with the vacuum cleaner and pulled my trousers down.Ē He shrugged with his shoulders, "But suddenly he was inside and I couldnít pull him out.Ē
Len couldn't help himself, he just had to laugh. The story and Jim's sight simply were too much to remain earnest. Something like that only could happen to Jim. Pity, that t he hadn't a camera at hand. If he just quickly went home and fetched his? Scotty would love the sight.
Jim however didn't find the situation funny. "Stop laughing and free me from this murder-thing," he growled while Len tumbled to the floor with sheer laughter.